this made me laugh so hard that it triggered an asthma attack.
from today’s entry:
you can tell im 30-something because i bought a new brand of toothbrushes and im very pleased with them. toothbrushes generally have the same problem that tennis shoes for instance have in that they’re overdesigned and consequently garish and ugly. but this is literally just a single piece of plastic, all one color, with a logo printed on it and white bristles. very tasteful. it’s perfect.
i sound like fucking patrick bateman
hard to accept that october is over, huge day for people that will never be normal about the passage of time
saturdays last for about 7 hours and sundays last for about 3 and a half. use this time wisely before you’re swept back into the consecutive weekdays that are all 37 hours each
opened the door for trick or treaters and am greeted by this kid in a fullbody, handpainted hand made cardboard costume of a sea creature. the kid clearly cannot see in it and has to walk backwards towards the gate of my house. the mum tells me excited “It’s an Ammonite!”
they looked like this
just opened the door to 10 kids that yelled MERRY CHRISTMAS! all at once
had a shower to relax and just argued with myself in my head the whole time 😊💕
aborted horse: hey can you abort some sugarcubes and an apple? i’m kind of hungry in the aborted horse purgatory dimension
rabidcupid-deactivated20221012:
goodzillo-deactivated20220127:
this site is genuinely breathtaking sometimes
you do not have permission to stop caring about vampires just because october is over btw. vampires are a year round event
“Oh, boy! I just got two asks! Whatever could they be!” The humble inbox:
dogs love using their horizontal nature to stand in front of you
“Try our ai-powered-” and I’ve stopped reading. You’ve instantly lost me. I don’t trust anything that labels itself ai-powered. I’d rather deal with something that’s squirrel-powered. Like Norm. I trust Norm. He won’t try to sell my data.












